I AM WHO I AM AND YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE

I am today who I am because of the acts of many. I was raised by a single mother and three fathers who were a part of my life only for short periods. None of you can relate as you were raised by a mother and father. Though times were tough and many times moneys were not available for frivolous activities. You are today who you are because of the way we raised you. For the most part, you have all become decent, honorable citizens that participate in the lives of your own families and they will benefit from your efforts. Hopefully you have been a good example.

My birth father knew of my birth but didn’t bother to see me until I was about a year and half old. According to records on his death certificate he was married to another woman other than my mother. He led a double life with and had an additional family on the east coast. I can assume that he moved our small family to California shortly before my birth to hide us from his other family. I was born at home, two months ahead of the due date in Hollywood (121 ½ Rampart Blvd.- ½ block away from the 1st Tommy’s Burger stand) otherwise I would have been born in Dam Neck, Virginia. I can only remember meeting him once in my life. He died of a broken neck after diving into shallow water when I was 2 years old, with another woman signing his death certificate as his wife.

My second father came into our lives when I was five. A postal worker he envisioned himself as a movie star. He had appeared in the our gang comedies as the character Jacky (the boy with the crooked hat) as a child. His father, a camera man for MGM Studios when they had hand crank cameras, placed him in movies when he noted a vacancy that needed to be filled. Living only two blocks from the studios, he was a good close resource. His parents were English he was born in Calgary, Alberta, Canada while his father was on location filming a movie. Divorce ended the marriage after 8 years when he could not accept their new found religion and alcohol took over his life.

My third father (Pop) was the savior of my mothers life and sanity. They married late in life and finally found the true love of which both sought for a long time. Each had baggage from prior marriages but both gained the companionship for which they needed. They were not the perfect couple but for better or worse, they are now, together, paving the way for the rest of us in the hear-after.

Recently I learned that perhaps, I was not the best father because I failed to be one who could listen, or one, whom my children could confide in. I caught the blame for that one child’s experimentations in life. I guess I thought by keeping a close tab on my children, being a tough authoritarian, and not letting you have a lot of freedoms that others may have had, didn’t work to make you into model citizens. I guess I failed because you all turned out so bad.

Well, so much for the trip down memory lane. Until next week.

Dad