THE GREAT AVOCADO WAR

AFTER LUNCHING ON A GREAT AVOCADO SALAD IN SACRAMENTO THIS PAST WEEK WITH MY WORKERS COMP ASSOCIATES, THEY URGED ME TO TELLTHE STORY OF THE GREAT AVOCADO WAR.

WHEN MY MOTHER MOVED FROM THE EAST COAST TO CALIFORNIA IN 1950 (SHORTLY BEFORE MY BIRTH) SHE ENCOUNTERED A GREAT MANY THINGS AS WELL AS FOODS SHE HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE. OF COURSE THERE WERE ALWAYS ORANGES, WHICH WERE A REAL DELECACY FOR SOME ONE OUT EAST BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING NEW THT SHE HAD NEVER EXPERIENCED CALLED AN A V A C A D O! WOW. AFTER HEARING ALL ABOUT THEM FROM THE GIRLS AT THE OFFICE, SHE WENT TO THE MARKET AFTER WORK AND PICKED OUT THE BIGGEST AND GREENEST ONE SHE COULD FIND. UPON ARRIVING HOME SHE WONDERED HOW ONE WOULD EAT ONE…. SHE POUNDED ON IT AND IT WAS A HARD AS A ROCK SO SHE FIGURED IF SHE COOKED IT LIKE A POTATO OR CARROT IT WOULD SOFTEN IT UP, THUS INTO THE POT IT WENT. AFTER AN HOUR OR SO OF BOILING AND TESTING IT, IT WAS A LITTLE SOFTER SO SHE CUT IT OPEN. THOUGH A LITTLE ON THE TOUGH SIDE IT WAS OK AS LONG AS YOU HAD A KNIFE AND FORK TO EAT IT. INTERESTING TASTE. THE NEXT DAY SHE TOLD THE GIRLS AT THE OFFICE AND AFTER THE LAUGHTER DIED DOWN, SHE LEARNED THAT YOU HAVE TO LOOK FOR THE RIPE ONES THAT GIVE JUST A LITTLE WHEN PRESSURE WAS APPLIED. EVER SINCE THAT DAY WE HAVE ENJOYED AVACODOS IN OUR DIET.

SOME 10 YEARS LATER AS THE FAMILY NOW RESIDED ON HAZELTON AVENUE IN CULVER CITY, UP AGAINST THE BALDWIN HILLS, MYSELF ALONG WITH A FEW FRIENDS DECEIDED ON A WARM SUMMER DAY THAT WE WOULD CLIMB THE HILLS TO SEE WHAT WAS UP THERE. LOOKING MUCH LIKE HUCK FINN AND TOM SAWYER WE TOOK OUT TO FOLLOW A WELL ESTABLISHED TRAIL THOUGH A NUMBER OF BACK YARDS. A HOUR OR SO LATER WE REACH THE TOP AND ENJOYED THE BEST VIEW IN THE CITY. YOU COULD SEE ALL THE WAY TO THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN, UN OBSTRUCTED BY ANY HIGH RISE BUILDINGS OR BAD AIR. JUST PAST THE CREST STOOD A HUGE CONVENT RETREAT, WHERE-IN THE NUNS HAD PLANTED AN AVACADO ORCHARD. INTERESTINGLY THEY NEVER PICKED ANY OF THE FRUIT. THE ORCHARD WAS THERE FOR WATERSHED AND SOIL CONSERVATION.

BEING THE INDUSTRIOUS YOUNG MEN THAT WE WERE AT THAT RIPE AGE, WE DISCOVERED THAT, 1. THEY WOULD MAKE GREAT WEAPONS. (NOTHING LIKE BEING HIT BY A RIPE AVACADO) BUT EVEN BETTER 2. THE HARD ONES HURT WHEN THEY HIT YOU. BEING THAT MORMON BISHOP REDD, LIVED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL WITH HIS EIGHT DAUGHTERS, AND DOCTOR GARRETT LIVED AT THE TOP OF THE HILL, WITH HIS FIVE DAUGHTERS A WELL WORN TRAIL EXHISTED BETWEEN THE TWO HOMES. A WAR PLAN WAS HATCHED IN OUR HEADS TO WAIT IN THE TREES AND PUMMEL THE GIRLS AS THEY WALKED BETWEEN THE TWO RESIDENCES. AS CONTRIVED, THE PLAN WORKED WELL AS THE GIRLS SCATTERED AND RAN IN ALL DIRECTIONS SCREEMING. BOY WERE WE MEAN. FOR A LONG TIME AFTER THIS WAR ENDED, WHEN OUR MOTHERS DISCOVERED HOW WE WAISTED THIS FRUIT, THE GIRLS TOOK A CAUTIOUS RUN TO AVOID ANY INCOMING BOMBS ON THE TRAIL. IMMAGE THE REDD GIRLS HORROR WHEN THEY SAW ME IN CHURCH A FEW YEARS LATER. MY GUESS WAS THEY UTTER SHOCK. COULD ANYTHING GOOD COME OUT OF HAZELTON AVENUE?

HOPE YOU ENJOYED.

DAD